What’s next for the Jersey Shore cast? Aspen Square can help!

“Jersey Shore Season 2: Bienvenido a Miami Beach” premiers in just a few days. Our favorite Guido juiceheads will be back for a second round of fist-pumping beats and drunken hook-ups, only this time their inebriated antics will take place on South Beach.

I have a couple of ideas about how this season will go down: JWow’s breasts will get bigger, Pauly D’s hair will get higher, The Situation will show off his abs, Sammy and Ronnie will get back together, then break up, then get back together, then break up, then get back together, and Snookie will eat a few pickles.

I can’t stop worrying about what will happen to all of our beloved Jersey Juiceheads once taping wraps up. Maybe Aspen Square could help each cast member find an apartment that’s perfect for them and their lifestyle! Aspen Square has luxurious apartments all across the country, so there’s a place for absolutely everyone. I’ll even help out by pointing each cast member in the right direction:

1. Mike ‘The Situation’ – He’s going to need  to work out daily to keep up his abdominal physique which has made him so famous. His new workout DVD simply won’t cut it. Instead, he should work out in the brand new state-of-the-art Fitness center at The Zone at San Marcos, TX. The Zone is the place to be for Texas State University students, so ‘The Situation’ is sure to pick up a few fist pumping protégés along the way.

• Snooki – I think Snooki is going to have the time of her life in Miami and she’s not going to want to leave. After Snickers gets a taste of the men in Miami, those Jersey boys just won’t cut it anymore. Not to worry, Snooks! The Boca Winds Apartments in Boca Raton, FL are just a hop, skip, and a jump away from South Beach. The party never has to stop!
• Angelina – Angelina who? Nobody cares about what happens to this girl.
• Pauly D – He will be in high demand after Season 2 and his DJ career is sure to take off. If Pauly D lives at Fox Hollow in Porterville, CA he could mix and mingle with all the A-List celebrities and still be just a short drive away from Las Vegas where he could be spinnin’ beats ‘til the sun comes up.
• Sammi & Ronnie – Think what you want – these two are made for each other! I think this couple should try to avoid all the drama and settle down in domestic bliss at The Terraces in Prescott Valley, AZ. The cozy fireplace and Jacuzzi will be just what these two need to relax and enjoy each other’s company. When they break up in a few days, I’ll work on finding them new apartments that are far, far away from each other.

• J Wow – If I had to pick a place for J Wow to live, it would have to be Woodedge Estates in Manchester, N.H. No long explanation needed here – I just think it would be hilarious to see J Wow try to fit in in New Hampshire. You’ll be able to spot those breast implants and trashy hair extensions from a mile away. Live Free or Die, J Wow!
• Vinnie – Who am I kidding? We all know Vinnie is going home to live with mom, at least until he’s 40.

Think about it guys and give us a call!